Several visitors and members have thought they were in love especially after the first romp in bed. All of these are females, not most but ALL. They really fell for the guys and then after having sex, they realized that they had become even more emotionally attached. Yet the guys hadn’t. Does love at first sex exist? Or did he just love me and leave me? Is he a total jerk? Am I building up something that really isn’t there? These are just a couple of questions that our readers find themselves asking in shock. Let’s explain some things about men and women.
Well first off, women are more emotionally driven and their natural tendency is to relationship-focused. Ever noticed when a group of girls get together (or even just two females), they’re talking about relationships and friendship. “He said that she said that I should… I don’t know why my sister is so jealous of me… I’m worried about how my boyfriend… What do you think he meant when he said…” Ladies are naturally made to be focused on relationships. They’re constantly trying to sort out relationships, give advice on relationships, encourage one another one friendships, business relationships, romantic relationships, relationships with their children. Well, you get the point.
Ever hear guys discussing relationships? “Hey Bob, my wife just doesn’t talk to me anymore. What do you think I should do? How can I develop better communication with her?” Jim answers, “Well, what actually goes on when you are guys are talking? What is her tone of voice? How about her attitude?” Uhhh, I don’t think so! Men are not naturally geared to focus on relationships and they are not emotionally driven. Sorry to say this again and sound like a broken record but men are stimulated physically. They have one-track minds and we don’t mean just in the sex department. Their brains are compartmentalized. If they’re thinking about one thing, usually that’s what they’re focused on – that one thing. So if he’s thinking about what’s for dinner, you can bet that you and your emotional needs are not on his mind at the moment. Then if his brain moves on to thoughts of you in a negligee, he’s not thinking about the oil change he needs to do on your car. Men’s brains don’t fire all at once like women’s. Multi-tasking is tougher for men and you can see why.
Add the compartmentalized thinking to being physically stimulated and you’ve got a double whammy totally opposite thing going on. Guys can get it on and be totally unattached emotionally. We’re not saying this to crush your bubble. We’re being realistic here to help you better understand men so that you can make wise decisions. A guy can have sex with a girl and move on to the next thing whether it’s his work, another woman, or move on with your relationship as if nothing major just happened. His emotions aren’t linked to other parts of his body. It takes longer for a guy to connect emotionally but when he does, he’s pretty hooked!
Okay, another thing that makes love at first sex easier for the ladies and harder for the guys is different hormones in men and women. A hormone called oxytocin is produced in women during sex. This hormone stimulates an emotional connection, a really strong one. So women are really kicking it into emotional overdrive during sex. Men, on the other hand, hardly produce any oxytocin or none at all. so they can have sex without being emotionally attached. So, Ladies, one night stands are going to wreak havoc on your emotions (which makes up who you naturally are) while the men can have sex and their are no strings attached.
Best bet: ?Know that men and women are different and that love happens over time as you build the relationship. Love at first sex is very rare.
