I have a keen interest in human sexuality topics and I talk to a lot of women about these subjects. One of the biggest complaints I hear from them is about the fact that most men don’t have any idea how to go down on a woman. We may have had a sexual revolution but when it comes to oral sex men on average haven’t quite got it figured out yet.
In talking with women, it always surprises me when I ask them if they tell their guy how they prefer it. Most of the time I get back a hesitant response something like this, “Well, um….I don’t really feel comfortable doing that…” My boyfriend and I talk about these kinds of things all the time but for most women it seems to be a rather difficult topic for them. In the heat of the moment, they just can’t seem to get the words to come out or they don’t feel comfortable telling their man how they like it in enough detail that he actually knows what to do. In most cases, they are afraid of being too demanding. Yes, this is what our society has created!
I have a really easy solution for all the women out there that don’t feel comfortable directly telling their man how to go down on them:
Buy a really good cunnilingus guide, read it carefully, highlight the parts you like, and give it to your man with the simple explanation that most men don’t know how to do it well and you thought this guide might be helpful for him. This way, you don’t have to actually describe in detail how you want him to go down on you but you’ll give him the instructions that he needs.
You need to understand the man’s side of it too. Most men enjoy giving you pleasure. They want to be able to give you orgasm after orgasm. They really want to be good at it too. Not only do they get pleasure out of watching you come, it also makes them feel like more of a man when they can and they feel especially good when they can make you have a really intense orgasm. So, give the guy a break and give him a guide that will explain what exactly he needs to know. Then, try to open up a little and tell him how to tailor it to your specific preferences.
