I get a lot of discreet questions on the topic of sexuality by both men and women. It’s interesting how many similarities and differences there are to the answers I give both genders. The following tips can help your husband encourage you to get in the mood as well as things you can do.
Aroma: One of the basic precepts of aromatherapy is that it can affect how you feel. This is just as important in romance as it is in helping with stress or improving concentration.
Not every scent will work for everyone, so you may have to experiment. That may be in part where the custom of the suitor sending flowers came from. I find rose, jasmine and sandalwood to be the most useful, but play around with other floral scents until you find the right one.
Herbs: In almost every case, herbs are subtle. This will probably be the same for you in this regard, so don’t look for a sudden change in desire twenty minutes or so after using them. That said, they can have a real benefit. For women, damiana is one of the best. Women can also use maca, muira puama, catauba and horny goat weed.
Lighting: Candlelight can do more than just provide ambiance to a romantic dinner. The flickering, soft light can also enhance your experiences that said romantic dinner was the lead up for. Scented candles could be even better, once you’ve found the aromas you like. Do use caution with this sort of lighting, as having catching the house on fire would definitely put a dampener on proceedings.
Massage: Having your back, arms and legs massaged can be a great lead in. Our sense of touch is not often used in this manner, but a massage relaxes you and makes you feel better. You can buy special oils for this purpose or make your own.
Music: Music has power in many areas of our lives, and this is one. While not everyone enjoys the same sort of music, there is bound to be something in the genres you like that will be suitable. It could be a beautiful sonata or orchestral piece or on the other end of the scale a country tune that sets the mood. Finding which works the best will be the fun part.
Keeping the romance in your marriage can become harder as you both get older, but it doesn’t have to end. Spend some time together discussing what each of you find most helpful and you will find yourself having a much more enjoyable time together.
If none of these remedies help enough, talk to your gynecologist the next time you see him or her. There are other things that can be done, and sex is as important to you and your relationship as always.
The newest eBook in our library is called Womanly Things It gives helpful information about many subjects helpful to women, including:
The Female Baby
Puberty and “The Talk”
Marriage, Pregnancy and Childbirth
Perimenopause and Menopause
And much more. You may also download my free report about the Top Ten Herbs, what they do, side effects and interactions.
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