Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex

Having read another book by Linda Dillow that I found very helpful (Creative Counterpart) I decided to order this one, expecting to have my eyes open to meanings of scripture regarding the marital relationship that would help me fulfill my role as a wife. This didn’t happen. I was so disappointed with the book that I discarded it at a local book sale the day after I read it. Looking back, I think I should have discarded it in the trash. The attitude that anything goes in a marriage that isn’t explicitly denounced in the Bible seems a bit foolish to me yet it is one that keeps popping up time and time again in Christian literature. There are many gray areas in the Bible that can become blurred in todays world. An analogy would be dressing modestly. We are told to be modest in our attire, but just what is modest attire? To the Amish there is one standard, the rest of us are left to “do what is right in our own eyes” in this area. And for the most part, today’s Christian women fail in this area. Often you will not notice a difference in the way a Christian woman dresses today when she is compared with an unbeliever. Thus the Bible’s statement to dress modestly, leaves us with the responsibility to know just what that is, and I believe that comes with growing in grace and wisdom. The fact that the Bible does not explicitly state that blue jeans and tank tops are immodest, doesn’t mean that they aren’t. A notion I have begun to take to heart lately. What does this have to do with sexual relationships in marriage? I think that Christians are crossing that same line in this area as well. Reading this book, we are presented with what is suppose to be a novel idea-that sex between marriage partners is nothing to be ashamed of and should be enjoyed-and then we are given ideas on how to enhance this area of our lives. What the book fails to do is take the area of sexual relationships between a Christian man and wife to a higher level than that of any modern day sex primer. Naturally, anything created and done according to God’s laws is good and brings a sense of well-being, the question is, just what is good and pleasing to Him. The book never really is able to offer Biblical proof for example that oral sex is sanctioned by God. yet gives full support for the idea that this act is okay simply because it is not explicitly prohibited by the Bible. Much like the question of blue jeans and tank tops, the reader is left to do “what seems right in his own eyes” . There has to be a better way to find out what pleases God than simply saying “if it isn’t explicitly prohibited in the Bible, then go for it”. There also has to be more to the marriage relationship than seeking carnal gratification.Christians need a sex primer that is able to powerfully explain just what is acceptable and pleasing to God and WHY it is acceptable with sound theological arguements, otherwise we are left to do “what seems right in our own eyes” and this will lead to more and deeper sin since we are prone to sin. This book did not leave a lasting impression on me with regard to the statement by Paul to not take a wife as the pagans do, in lust, but rather in a holy and honorable way. Just what is a holy and honorable way, how does it DIFFER from the way of the world. I found no difference , between what is stated in this book, and what can be commonly read in any woman’s magazine today. Sexual union causes two to become one, and “where two or more are gathered in my name, I am there in the midst of them”. Thus sexual union between two Christians should indeed be a holy and honorable experience if Christ is there in the midst of this union between husband and wife. I for one am not willing to settle for what the world has already offered to me, mere physical gratification. As Christians, let us seek to know the fullness and richness of this gift God has given us. I think it goes much deeper that what is offered in this book. It is my hope, that in offering this dissenting view, that some will at least question the notion of anything goes in marriage, or that it is simply about physical gratification. Marriage is not a license to sin And the marriage bed is honorable only if it is kept undefiled by immorality. We as Christians today need to truly seek to know what is moral from what is immoral in regard to all things. Be it modest attire, business transactions, sexual union between husband and wife, and virtually all areas of our lives. Don’t take the easy road that if it isn’t explicitly forbidden it is okay. Seek to grow in grace and wisdom. I hope to find a book someday written by a Christian man in this area, that displays a powerful witness for the Lord for Christian spouses today. I don’t think women should be teaching in this area. We are prone to deception.
Rating: 2 / 5

Overall the writers of this book are to be commended for tackling the “final frontier” in christianity, however, I personally need more scripturally based answers and less opinion or anwers based on experiences. The account of the book of Song of Solomon is also incorrect, Solomon was not her intended lover, the king had desires for her, and she for another.
Rating: 1 / 5

Great Bible study book. We are learning a lot and having a great time with it!
Rating: 5 / 5